My Vacation 2021

How quickly my life changes!

14 SEP 2021By Kandie Angel

I got into Las Vegas on a Saturday afternoon, and I instantly felt like I was going to melt because it was 115 degrees outside. I hear people all the time telling me how hot it is in Florida, but it truly isn't hot in Florida even with the humidity. The dry heat is just unbearable. It feels like a blow dryer on your face. When I first got there, I had about a two hour wait to check into my room, so I picked up my son and took him to get something to eat. Since he had to go back to work, I checked into my room and got settled. Then I picked him up and we hung out at the park for a bit.

The next day I went to his house, and we hung out and played games all day. He let me play Virtual Reality for the first time. I had the best time. John is absolutely amazing at playing VR, and his friend Logan is so damn good, that he looks as if he is doing some foreign dance. He moves so fluidly, that it looks like art. Then John and I played a game on his computer called, "It takes two". We sat there all day until he got tired and had to get ready for bed. The next day he had to go to work, so I checked out of my Airbnb, went to get my son some food, and drove down to Arizona.

As soon as I got into town I was going to stop by my aunts to drop off my stuff, but I decided to go straight to Needles because my friend Jimmy and his little brother Tyler told me to come see them since its been a few years. I have been under so much stress lately that I thought it was going to be a very stressful week while I was visiting because I always become stressed when I visit my hometown. But as soon as I started hanging out with Jimmy, all my stress seemed to disappear; I couldn't stop laughing all night long. I haven't laughed like that in such a long time, that I woke up the next morning with my ribs literally feeling as if I bruised them. I have been friends with their family for over 25 years. The best part about seeing old friends is the fact that as soon as you start talking, it feels like you are right back in the same place, as if no time has passed.

Over the next 8 days, I ended up spending almost all my time with Jimmy and his family, and enjoyed every minute of it. Finally it was time to leave, so I stayed the last night in my car hanging out with Jimmy just chilling and bullshitting about the past crazy days. Finally I decided to drive back to Vegas to drop off the rental, got to the airport, and found out that I was actually five hours early. I got so frustrated because I wasn't ready to leave, that I decided to call Roller, get him to reserve me another rental car, and drove myself back to Havasu. I went straight to Tawny's house where Jimmy was staying, to chill for the next few days. I ended up staying the rest of the week there, and flew home Saturday.

I had so much fun the last two weeks, and forgot all about arguing with Adam on a daily basis, that I didn't realize I was falling in love with myself all over again! The time I have spent with Jimmy, helped me to finally stop picking up the calls and answering the messages every time Adam and I would be fighting. The fact that I was able to distract myself long enough to finally help myself move on really worked. I was stuck in a never-ending loop of pain and suffering because I didn't know how to let go. I spent the whole two weeks laughing and smiling. If I would have gone to Colorado like I originally planned, I probably would have ended up in more arguments with Adam, and feeling even more suicidal than I was when I first went to Las Vegas.

I have sadness in my heart as I am leaving this place. I know this is probably the last time I am going to be out here for a very long time, and I didn't get to see everyone I wanted. I will however be taking Jimmy back with me, as he and I started seeing each other over the time that we spent together. I am excited to see where things go with him, for the fact that I have known him for over 25 years, and we never once tried to date before now. We have always been the best of friends, and he has always made me smile anytime we have hung out or talked. He knows how to put a smile on my face at any point in time of the day. The moment he kissed me, I knew it was meant to be! I hope he can put up with my crazy. lol

As I sit here writing this, I am thinking about how much my life has changed over the last year. I went from being engaged to a man who didn't appreciate me, then married him thinking things were going to get better. Then after trying to make it work for a few months, we both realized that it just wasn't meant to be and went our separate ways. Then for the last few months of being single, I have just been depressed and confused trying to figure out who I am again because I feel as though I lost the person that I just built up. I felt empty and alone, even though I knew him being gone was for the best. I have been holding onto that pain and suffering, thinking that things were going to get better. But nothing ever changed, and all we did was fight until the very end of us blocking each other.

When I took the trip to see my son, I was supposed to go to Colorado first to see my ex, but I made the decision not to go. I decided to go see my son in Las Vegas instead. Then I decided I would stay a week to spend time with some family and friends, but I ended up spending more time with Jimmy than anyone else. I thought I would be mad at myself for not spending time seeing everyone I could possibly see, but I actually had the most amazing vacation ever. Now I just need to get back home to reality.

So I finally came back home and decided to get back to work because I spent way too much money on vacation. However, I did have a much needed relaxing trip for the most part, and I am happy to get back to normal. I have been focusing on myself these last couple of weeks since I went on vacation, and I am glad I did because it was needed for my own mental health. I have been neglecting my own thoughts and feelings lately, and it is about time I take care of the little woman within me first. My whole life, I have went around trying to please others, and care for others thoughts and feelings first. Now I have finally decided to get back to doing me!

I pushed myself to get back into the gym, even though its been hard to find the motivation since my divorce. I am proud to say that I am going almost every day, and I got Jimmy going to the gym with me as well. I am also helping him quit smoking cigarettes because I want him to stick around for a long time, and smoking isn't the best way to do that. Well I have to get some house work done, so I will end this here, just wanted to catch you all up with what's been going on.

I will be trying to upload a blog each month starting this month because I want to try and make this a bit more consistent, as well as add more organization to my schedule.

Until next time,
Blessed be!